"The Rubber Bandit: the rubber band gun for the lady or gentleman that knows better than to grow up. Handcrafted out of curly maple and bloodwood, The Rubber Bandit comes complete with interchangeable barrels, allowing the bearer to fine tune the amount of damage he or she inflicts.
Package Reads: "DANGER! This rubber band gun, handcrafted to the highest standards, is capable of inflicting 1st and 2nd degree welts, contusions, and bruises, on the supple flesh of it's targets.
For safety's sake, it should only be wielded by a trustworthy and licensed adult.
For fun's sake, place it in the hands of your craziest, most demented, deranged, unbalanced, loose-cannon of a friend, and watch the rubber fly.""